


Servant For Your Good

by paradiamond



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Abe POV, Abe’s general irresponsibility, Explicit Sexual Content, Gratuitous use of Bible verses, M/M, Robert’s complete inability to stop, Terrible Apologies, high key blasphemy, post 306, townhull
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 17:58:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11236239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradiamond/pseuds/paradiamond
Summary: After the disaster that is Thanksgiving, Abe can’t stay away. As it turns out, neither can Robert. Or what happens when an unstoppable force tries to have it out with an immovable object.





	Servant For Your Good

The night is cold, and the wooden steps are uncomfortably hard beneath him, but Abe can’t make himself stand up. 

He should leave, go home. Simcoe threatens them all. The ring is falling apart. Even so, he doesn’t move. Despite all his obligations, there’s nothing else he can do but sit and wait. 

He has to get Robert to talk to him. 

After the Queen’s Rangers left and Abe traveled a sufficient enough distance to convince both Caleb and Anna that he had actually gone home, he circled back, knocked on the door to the farm house. Robert had opened it, a haunted look in his eyes, and then immediately closed it in his face. Shaken but not surprised, Abe had lowered himself to the steps to wait. 

Predictably, Robert leaves him out there for a long time. 

Abe sits and takes it, resolved. If this is his punishment, he can do it. He learned how to be patient in prison. The moon moves, the wind shifts, and Abe remains still. In his mind, he sees the last look Robert gave him before he went back in the house. More than anything, more than the ring, that’s why he has to stay. 

Eventually, he doesn’t know how long, the door opens again. Abe jumps up like he’d been burned, wheeling around with his heart in his throat only to see Samuel standing there instead. They stare at each other with identical expressions of surprise until Abe manages to compose himself. 

“Samuel. I owe you an apology.” Abe takes a step forward and watches the old man track him like he’s a dangerous animal. He stops. “I am sorry. I’m so sorry it had to be this way.” 

Samuel takes a breath and turns around, goes back into the house without a sound. He leaves the door open. Abe stays standing, hardly daring to breathe, let alone move. It feels like being locked up again, all uncertainty and freezing down to his bones. 

“What do you mean he’s still there?” Abe hears Robert ask, his tone just as cold. Even though Abe knows that Rob saw him, that he kept looking through the curtains. 

“Just do something,” Samuel says, appearing in the doorway again. Then he’s out the door and down the stairs, heading out into the night that’s beginning to creep into daylight. Abe stares after him, vaguely wondering where he’s going, but then the hair on the back of his neck stands up. He turns around and sees the door still open, and the curtain moves in the window to his left. 

Abe squares his shoulders and makes himself climb the last steps, crossing the threshold. Robert isn’t hard to find, still standing in the dining room as though he never left. He never is, that’s never been the problem. 

“Where is your father going?” Abe asks, knowing that it’s is a ridiculous way to begin. He shakes his head and looks at Robert, resolved instead to wait for whatever is coming. 

Robert gives him a long look, one that makes Abe’s heart jump up to his throat with anticipation, but then he only turns and leaves the room. Abe blinks. The sound of boots on stairs echoes in the silence. 

Abe stares after him, confusion verging on shock. He hesitates, then follows Robert all the way up to what is clearly his bedroom when he’s visiting, what was probably his room as a child. It’s stark, almost aggressively unadorned, just like it’s master. Abe looks around, taking in the neat bed, the single chair, trying to pretend that he’s avoiding Robert’s gaze, but Robert isn’t looking at Abe at all. 

Instead, Robert busies himself with sitting down at his desk and clearing off the surface, putting papers and writing utensils back where they belong. It’s not long before he runs out of things to do, but even then he continues moving things around, creating work for himself. Abe stares at the back of his head, waiting. 

It’s nearly unbearable. He had never been very good at passing tests, even when he knew the answers. He’s too prone to distraction, too easily drawn away from the task at hand. But this time he holds himself still and silent by clenching and unclenching his fists, letting his nails dig in for a moment before letting go again. It’s grounding, but not enough for the long haul. 

The line of Robert’s shoulders tense, becoming more rigid. Abe watches it with growing concern. He’s just moments from speaking when Roberts finally sets him free. 

“I knew better.” Robert sinks into his desk chair, facing away from Abe. 

Abe breathes in sharply. After so long, Robert’s voice is almost a shock. His fingers twitch. But he knows it’s still not his turn. 

“I knew that you was a spy. A liar, obviously. Most likely a sodomite and an adulterer as well,” Robert says, tonelessly. He is frighteningly still. 

Abe takes a step forward, mostly to see if Robert will turn, or speak again. When he doesn’t, Abe takes a deep breath. “I know I’ve angered you, disappointed you, but-”

“I’m not disappointed in you,” Robert all but spits, half turning in the chair but still not looking at Abe in the face. “I’m disappointed in myself. I _knew_ better.” 

Abe scowls, suddenly just as furious, and stalks forward. Robert startles and turns, eyes wide and angry again, but Abe is already there. He seizes the back of Robert’s chair and forces it around, makes him face him. “Stop it, alright? Just stop this!” 

Robert tips his head back to meet Abe’s eyes and pointedly says nothing. Instead his hand goes to the desk to push himself up, no doubt expecting Abe to step back, to make space. He doesn’t. A heartbeat later they’re standing frighteningly close, breathing the same air. 

Robert looks so furious Abe has to wonder if he’s going to hit him. He hopes so. But he just turns his face away, so close that Abe’s nose almost brushes his cheek. Or maybe his lips. It's far too much all at once. 

Abe stalks over to the window and leans against it, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. 

“This isn’t about us.” 

Robert laughs and looks back at him to glare, one hand still perched on his desk. “Isn’t it?” 

“No.” Abe tilts his head back, keeping it high. “It’s about the ring. The cause.” 

Robert looks away, feigning disinterest once again. It’s Abe least favorite expression on him. Robert shakes his head. “The ring has been broken for weeks, months even,” he sneers. “All those people. That Robert Rogers. That’s what you call security?” 

Abe winces. “I know, I just-”

“You were supposed to keep me safe! You told me-” Robert breaks off and turns away again, both hands pressed to the desk, palms flat, head bowed. Abe stares at his back with wide eyes. Neither of them move for a long moment, Abe doubts if they even breathe. 

Abe runs a hand over his face. “Listen-”

“No, you listen,” Robert whispers, cutting Abe off at the throat. He turns around and steps forward, his hand shaking. Abe looks down at it to avoid his eyes, regretting his wish that Robert would look at him now. “I am finished with you, with all of it. Nothing is changed.” 

“Everything changed.” Abe shakes his head and looks up again. “I don’t know how you can’t see that.” 

Robert leans back, head held high. “I did. You showed me your lie.” 

“The best lies are based in truth.” 

“Don’t.” 

“I’m serious.” Abe lets his arms drop and steps forward, stopping when Robert looks away pointedly. “I want to tell you how I was recruited.” 

Robert sighs. “I don’t want to hear it.” 

“Tough. I didn’t want to live it.” 

Robert scoffs but doesn’t move or say anything more. Abe takes another step forward, and makes the best of it. “Ben, our handler, tricked me. Pretended that I was captured for doing business on the London trade.” 

“Which I’m sure you were,” Robert says, and then freezes, eyes widening slightly. Abe smiles. 

“Yeah, but that’s not really the point,” he pauses, but Robert doesn’t slip again. “Anyway, they held me in their camp, put a bag over my head, threw water on me. I thought I was going to die.” 

A line appears between Robert’s eyebrows. His gaze darts over to Abe and quickly away again. Abe nods. “Ben came. Tried to strike a deal with me, to convince me to become a spy. I told them I’d think about it, but I wasn’t going to do it.” 

Robert is openly watching him now, his head turned away but eyes fixed on Abe’s face. Abe straightens his shoulders and tries not to flinch. “It was Anna who changed my mind, who gave me the chance to realize that I needed to do this, and she did it by lying to me. I’m grateful to her for that.”

Robert shakes his head and looks away. Panicked, Abe closes the distance again, wrapping his hand around Robert’s forearm, making him listen. 

“Yes, I chose for you. Sometimes we need to be pushed, challenged. We need to let others make us better.” 

Robert stares at him with wide eyes. Then he shakes his head, slowly. “You think you’ve made me better? You’ve ruined me.” 

Robert pulls away, gently, and Abe lets him go, watches him sink back down into the off center chair. Disgust, anger, and a million other things he can’t name bubble up inside him. Abe turns away, walks to the other side of the room to get away again, staying behind him. Robert doesn’t turn. 

Abe glares at the back of his head. “What, we’re back to sullen silences?” 

No response. 

The silence stretches thin between them. Abe watches him and wishes he would move, that he would do something Abe could respond to, but he won’t. Abe breaks first, again, as always, stepping forward into his space. He stops behind the chair. On impulse, Abe puts his hand on Robert’s shoulder, intending to shake him, to force some sense into him. His fingers grip him tightly, but he doesn’t try to move him, doesn’t let them hurt. 

“Tell me what I have to do.” 

Silently, Robert reaches up, and Abe thinks that he’s going to brush him off, but he lays his hand on top of Abe’s, and squeezes. “There’s nothing you can do,” he pauses, and Abe doesn’t breathe. Then he shakes his head. “You’ve done enough.” 

“That’s not true,” Abe says, quietly now. They’re so close there’s no need to raise his voice. Robert still hasn’t let go of his hand. It’s starting to hurt, his nails digging into the back of Abe’s hand, but Abe says nothing about it. 

Robert’s hand tightens further on his, and then he tugs, pulling Abe forward, around to the front of the chair. Abe goes willingly, following along even as Robert pulls him further down, leading Abe to his knees in front of him. Once he has him there, he lets go, and Abe feels the loss immediately. Robert stares down at him, expressionless, but Abe can see the feeling brewing in his eyes. 

He puts his hands on Robert’s knees. 

Robert’s eyes drop closed. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”

Abe is surprised to find that he can speak, given the fact the he can barely breathe. “No, I can’t.” 

He shifts forward, his hands sliding up a little higher. Roberts doesn’t push him away. “Tell me what you want me to do.” 

The stern line between Robert’s eyebrows reappears. Abe wants to reach up and smooth it out. He wants to fix what he’s done, all of it, not just with Robert but with them all. He wants to be better, for everyone. He wants to fix the ring, to make his country proud. He wants his brother back. He wants so much that is lost to him, but he refuses to believe that Robert is one of those things. 

Robert shakes his head. “Don’t you see that you’ve done this to yourself?” 

Abe nods. “Yes. But doesn’t that mean I can fix it?” 

Robert reaches up, close to Abe’s face, and lets his hand hang there. “‘There is no peace,’ says my God, ‘for the wicked.’” 

Abe leans forward, completing the contact. “Isaiah 57:21, a good one.”

“They’re all good.” 

“Then you remember this one. ‘From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force.’ That’s what we do, Robert.” 

“Violence against violence?” Robert narrows his eyes. He drops his hand, no doubt meaning to take it away, but Abe’s shoots forward before he can, bringing it back down in his own, holding it there against Robert’s leg. 

“Yes,” Abe implores. “You saved my life today.” 

“Yesterday.”

“Robert please.” Abe stares up at him, and for some reason, Robert allows him to, not looking away. “I haven’t thank you for saving my life.” 

“No, you haven’t-”

“Thank you.” 

Robert presses his lips together so hard they turn white. He bows his head and Abe leans up, bringing them a little closer to even, to equal. “Romans 13:4.” 

Robert turns his head, huffing out a sharp breath that almost sounds like a laugh. “Of course you like Romans.” 

“‘For he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer.’” 

“Perhaps you are the wrongdoer,” Robert says, once again not looking at him. Abe can’t stand it. He gives Robert’s hand a sharp tug, drawing him back. 

“Perhaps, and perhaps you should carry out God’s wrath-” 

“Stop it,” Robert all but spits. 

“No.” Abe rolls up further onto his knees, all the way, to face Robert head on. His hands grip hard at the tops of his thighs, holding him in place, trying to get him to move. It works. 

Robert stands, but not before Abe feels the energy coiling in his muscles and reaches up to grab at his chest, catching cloth and buttons when he really wants to hold skin and bone. Robert overbalances at once, and they fall, Abe pulling them both down with a crash that shakes his spine. He gasps, but doesn’t let go. They struggle against each other for long minutes, hair coming out of braids and faces flushed with exertion. 

Once ignited, the fire burns through them both quickly. Robert makes a noise like a growl, hands pressed up against Abe, pushing and pulling in turn, as though he can’t make up his mind. Abe chooses for him, rolling Robert straight onto the flat of his back and pinning him down with his hips against hips and his hands on his shoulders. Robert stares up at him, wide eyed and red faced, either from the sudden aggression or from the fact that they’re pressed so closely together that Abe can feel how hard he is against him, and no doubt Robert can feel him too. Still, he doesn’t move, doesn’t give into the urge to roll and rut against him. 

Abe pants, suddenly dizzy from the motion and from the way Robert stares up at him, and he shakes his head to clear it. “I need you to choose. Tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do it. But _tell_ me.”

Robert continues to watch him, his breath coming in small bursts as he tries and fails to control it. Abe lets go of his shoulders, leans away, tries to give him the space he needs despite the fact that they still pressed together from the waist down, so close Abe thinks he can feel his pulse. But that might just be his own, echoing in his ears. Robert doesn’t move to sit, his arms still splayed out awkwardly around his head. For a horrible moment Abe thinks that he’s not going to do or say anything at all. Then he does. 

“I want you to leave me alone,” Robert whispers so quietly that Abe wouldn’t have heard it if he hadn’t wanted so badly to hear something. As it is, he blinks down at him, torn between relief and disappointment. 

“Alright,” Abe manages, the word almost getting stuck in his throat. He pushes himself up to his knees, feeling embarrassed at the state of himself for the first time, and avoids Robert’s eyes. It almost burns, like Adam in the garden, naked for the first time. 

Abe looks away and works to get himself all the way standing, Robert still laying on the floor in between his legs. The first morning light is coming through the window, making the entire scene even more jarring. Abe scowls. By all rights they should be doing this in the middle of the night, like proper spies. They could have, if only Robert had let him in. Abe scowls at the wall, then looks back, holding his hand out. 

“Here.” 

Robert blinks up at him and then suddenly sits stock straight up, face red once again. He takes Abe’s hand and grudgingly allows him to haul him up, bringing them close. Abe sighs and nods his head. 

“I’ll...I’ll leave you alone.” He looks up, and Robert is watching him. “I am sorry. Thank you for saving my life. I know you didn’t want to do it.” 

No longer expecting Robert to say anything, Abe turns away, but his hand catches when Robert doesn’t let it go. Abe jerks to a stop, and turns around, confused. He looks up carefully, meeting Robert’s intense gaze. “What-” 

But Robert is already taking that step back, closing the space between them again and kissing him full on the mouth. Abe gasps, eyes wide while Robert lets his drift shut. It takes Abe’s brain a moment to catch up with his surroundings, a moment in which he could have ruined everything yet again, but then he’s kissing Robert back, one hand still gripped between them and the other sliding around Robert’s waist to pull him even closer. 

Robert kisses with a focus that shouldn't surprise Abe, his hand still crushing Abe’s in an iron grip. He presses closer, nearly biting Abe’s lips with every move he makes. The intensity, or desperation, verges on a violence that doesn't suit him. Abe thinks about pulling away, giving him yet another out, but when Robert slides his tongue along the seam of Abe’s lips, Abe gives up on thinking entirely. 

He relaxes and lets him in, leaning forward and turning his head so that they better fit together. Robert makes a sound, more unrestrained than Abe had ever heard, and drops Abe’s hand so he can reach up and grab at Abe’s face, holding him still. Every time they break away to breathe, Robert surges back in first, as if afraid to stop. He then bites Abe’s lip in earnest, presses so hard that Abe rocks back a step. 

Abe pushes back, trying to balance them out, to keep them from falling again. He squares his stance like he's in a fight, and starts tugging at Robert’s shirt from the back, pulling it up and out from its proper tucked in place. The eagerness he feels for the touch of Robert’s skin under his hands makes his fingers clumsy, and the rushing in his head from the way Robert steals his breath makes it even worse. As soon as it’s mostly free, Abe slides his hand up to Robert’s bare skin, running his palms all along the expanse of his back and his fingers up the inverted bow of his spine, feeling Robert shake underneath his palms. 

“Lord,” Robert gasps when he breaks away, only to press his face immediately into Abe’s neck. But not before Abe notices that his face is flushed, his pupils blown wide. He breathes, sending a shiver up Abe’s spine, then he kisses him there, right under his jaw. “Abraham.” 

“Are you-” 

“Quiet,” Robert murmurs and nudges Abe back, telling him where he wants them to with a hand pressed to his hip, pushing in the right direction. Abe walks backward, cautiously, until his knees hit the bed. Then he understands. 

Grinning, Abe wraps his fist in the front of Robert’s shirt to tug him down with him. There isn't much pulling of course, Robert doesn't give him any of that, just follows him down limb for limb, smoothly settling on top with his legs bracketing Abe’s hips and his arms braced near Abe’s shoulders. He looks down at Abe intently, almost impassively, and Abe wants to crack it, to watch Robert fall apart again. He surges up and catches the back of Robert’s neck to pull him down, capturing his lips with his own. Robert makes a noise in the back of him throat and kisses him back, hard. 

Abe closes his eyes for the first time and lets his hands wander. Robert feels good on top of him, all solid weight and misleading slightness. He’s nearly the opposite of Mary, though not all that dissimilar to Anna. But not so similar either, Abe thinks as he slides one hand deliberately toward the juncture between Robert’s legs, eager and vindictive all at once. To his surprise but much to his pleasure, Robert doesn’t move away or grab his wrist. He rolls his hips once and then freezes, holding himself over Abe, all control even when he has his hands on Abe’s chest and his mouth attached to the pulse point at his throat. Abe grins and strokes harder, trying to draw another sound from him as he undoes the laces with his other hand. It’s enthralling, and it gives Abe another idea. 

Abe slides his hand from the front of Robert’s trousers to his hip, pushing at it to roll them both over, caught by a vision of pinning Robert to the bed with his weight, laying in between his legs and holding him there, but Robert’s hand flies up to the center of his chest, stopping him. Abe looks up, straight into Robert’s eyes. “No?” 

“No.” Robert makes a show of resettling himself, straddling him, hands on Abe’s forearms, a hard look in his eye. “Stay like this.” 

Abe gazes up at him, mouth dry and heart pounding. “Whatever you want.” 

The corner of Robert’s mouth twitches. “You'll stay?”

“Yes,” Abe insists, craning his neck to better angle himself for a kiss Robert doesn't give. “You can have whatever you want.”

Robert rolls his eyes. “Stop saying that.”

“Alright,” Abe says, absently stroking the now exposed skin near Robert's hips, smirking at the way he leans into his touch. “But it's true.” 

Robert gives him a look Abe recognizes from the first day they met, the challenge and contempt that made him stay, made him come back. “Really. You'd let me use you then? However I want?” 

Abe sucks in a breath, suddenly struck by everything at once, their closeness, Robert’s skin. Not to mention the idea. 

“Yes,” he breathes, barely able to make a sound. 

Robert’s eyes go wide, then his hands move to Abe’s chest, seeking out the buttons and pulling them apart, stripping his shirt off. Abe tries to help, shifting and shimmying when Robert needs him to, lifting his hips when Robert pulls at his trousers. In moments Abe is fully naked, panting and lying beneath Robert who is still almost fully clothed. But he still looks so wrecked, shirt rucked up, pants undone, hair more messy than Abe had ever seen it. 

For a long moment, Robert just looks at him intently. Abe can almost feel his eyes move from his face to his chest and lower, taking him in entirely. They’re both painfully hard now, and Abe expects that whatever they do, neither of them will last very long. Especially not if Robert keeps looking at him like that. 

Abe sits up without warning, making Robert jerk back, and pulls Robert’s shirt all the way off before he can stop him. Robert gives him a stern look but doesn’t say anything. Instead he leans forward to kiss him again, their bare chests now pressed together. Abe sighs and wraps his arm around Robert’s back, pulling him in closer. He drops his other hand to finish with getting Robert’s pants undone. He pulls and twists the laces apart to get to the point that he really can touch him, and then completely loses patience at the sight of his bare erection. Apparently Robert does too, because he doesn’t stop Abe from adjusting himself so he can wrap his hand around them both. 

The first touch is strange, alien, but the first stroke of his hand is electric. Robert’s hands drop to Abe’s hips and grip hard enough to sting, but Abe just bites his lip and keeps going, the anticipation curling at the base of his spine. 

“Lay back down,” Robert says, his voice rough but cutting through the fog, and leans forward, urging him back. Abe whines but does as he’s told. He has to let them go to do it, settling back down onto his back as Robert readjusts himself, settling with Abe in between his legs. 

Something about the way he moves makes Abe suddenly imagine the other things they could do in this particular position, but he knows they don’t have the time or patience for that anymore. Hopefully, there will be a next time, and Abe can see what Robert looks like slowly sinking down onto him, red faced and focused. He’d set the pace, going so slowly it would drive Abe insane. Both of them stripped completely down to nothing, their foreheads pressed together when Robert starts to move, Abe’s hands on Robert’s ribs, feeling him roll his hips down over and over. 

As if he knows what Abe is thinking, Robert’s eyes cut to his face, eyes narrowed but glassy. Pleasured. It’s almost startling, and it makes Abe wonder what he looks like. He swallows around nothing. 

“More?” 

Robert doesn’t dignify that with a response except to lower himself further, bringing them into contact again. Abe hisses and reaches for them blindly, the need rekindling itself. He had never done this, all the starting and stopping. It creates a desperate edge under his skin, one that he hopes Robert will eventually allows him to relieve. Lucky for him, Robert seems about as gone as he is. 

Abe takes them in hand together again, Robert braced over him, arms shaking and panting near Abe’s mouth. It should be uncomfortable, but with all the buildup and the fact that Abe is almost sure that Robert doesn’t have a lot of experience in this area there’s more than enough slickness between them, combining in a way that makes Abe pant like a dog and Robert burn. He’s so hot against Abe it feel like he’ll melt, his hips rolling into Abe’s grip over and over, all conscious thought abandoned. It’s an engaging image, seeing Robert this lost to pleasures, and Abe conjures up another fantasy image, one of Robert pounding into him over and over until he’s done, using Abe like a harlot but gripping his hand tightly as he does it, his face pressed sweetly to Abe’s neck. 

Robert’s face hovers over Abe’s, his eyes open and wondering. Abe is impressed by his nerve despite the obvious newness, and wants to be impressive too. He rolls his hips against Robert’s in time with his strokes, rutting against him brazenly. It’s no surprise when Robert comes first, dropping his head and letting out a moan more high pitched than Abe had ever heard him make as he spills on Abe’s hand and stomach. 

Abe follows soon after, taking in Robert’s shaking arms, his head hanging down, the huffs of breath that Abe caused. It runs deep to his bones, a primal relief. It’s intoxicating, making him feel powerful, like someone who takes care of things, like he took care of Robert. 

As soon as Abe finishes, Robert gives in and collapses straight down and onto his chest, knocking the wind out of him. Abe manages a laugh and winds his arms around his back, holding him there, maybe crushing him. Robert’s face is pressed against his neck, breathing close to his throat. Abe lets his eyes drop shut, and then opens them wildly when he feels Robert slip out of his grasp. 

“No-” 

“I’m getting a cloth,” Robert says quietly, and with the added kindness of not making fun of him at all. He leans over to the bedside drawer and pulls out a small towel. Abe blinks at him as Robert passes it over. Abe averts his eyes as he quickly run it along his skin, though he can feel Robert watching him intently. 

He keeps his gaze down as he hands it back, waiting to see what Robert will do with him next. He honestly doesn’t know, though that shouldn’t be a surprise given who he’s dealing with. This is the same man who challenged him to draughts, goaded him into forfeiting and then invited him back. The same man to deny him to his father, threaten his life and then demand Abe do a better job protecting him. Abe never knows what he’s going to do. 

Abe stays quiet as Robert slides his trousers off with a grimace and sets them gently down onto the floor. He keeps his eyes on Robert’s body, smooth lines running into and completing each other. He tries not the wonder if he’ll ever see it again, just as much as he tries not to look at the window to see how high the sun had gotten. 

He’s so preoccupied with focusing on the mechanics of Robert’s body that he fails to see what it’s actually doing until Robert is already laying back down in the bed, facing away from Abe but with his hand extended behind him. Abe stares at it, confused until Robert starts to turn his head and he realizes that he’s supposed to take it. As soon as he puts his hand in Robert’s he is pulled forward and down, forcibly wrapped around Robert from behind. 

Abe smiles into the back of his neck and hopes Robert can feel it. He’s so preoccupied with being pleased that he almost misses Robert’s breathing evening out, slowing down for sleep. Abe grips his hand a little tighter, still held together against Robert’s chest, and stays still. 

He shouldn’t fall asleep. Really, he shouldn’t be doing any of this. It isn’t right by his wife, or by God, and it isn’t what’s best for the ring. He does it anyway. 

Abe wakes up still wrapped around Robert, but at a different angle. The new hour sees him with both arms wrapped around Robert’s middle and his head laid on his chest. Robert must have turned while Abe slept, and Abe must not have been willing to be moved. 

A few blinks to clear his vision reveals that Robert is watching him. Abe leans to the side, taking his weight off Robert and leveraging himself onto one elbow. Robert tracks his every move, silent and so suddenly familiar that Abe surges forward to kiss him, taking advantage of Robert’s surprise. To his immense satisfaction, Robert kisses him back, pressing forward insistently, opening his mouth first and aggressively chasing Abe backwards when he leans away to breathe. 

Then Robert breaks away, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed before Abe can blink. He braces his hands on his knees and stops. Abe just lays there, staring at his naked back and trying not to breathe, to make anything worse. He doesn’t know what changed, what he’s done now, but he feels the loss of contact like an icicle to the heart. Like he’s back in the sugar house huddled up against the wall and hoping that Robert will visit, knowing he won't. It’s not the same, not at all, but he has to clench his hand into a fist to keep it from shaking.

Eventually, finally, Robert looks over his shoulder. “Come here.” 

Abe moves like a man possessed, sitting up so fast he gets dizzy and crowding up as close as he can behind Robert, pressing skin to skin. His muscles hurt, and he's still tired despite the fact they'd clearly slept for a few hours. It doesn’t matter. He winds his arms around Robert’s shoulders and presses a kiss to his neck without thinking that maybe this isn’t what he meant. He leans away and finds Robert still looking at him, his face set in hard lines. 

Abe leans forward, but Robert leans away, maintaining their distance. Abe sighs and sets his forehead on Robert’s shoulder instead. “What can I do?” 

Robert is silent for several minutes. After the third, Abe looks up again, his ever childish patience running thin. Robert narrows his eyes and takes his hand, puts him back on his knees in front of him with a few economized pushes and pulls. Abe settles on the wood floor, glad at least to be doing something. It’s jarringly familiar after their experience a few hours earlier, but more worrisome. 

“Are we just going to keep on in circles forever?” Abe asks, not really expecting a verbal response, which is probably why he actually gets one. 

“No. We will not.” Robert slides his hand through Abe’s hair, gentle at first, then he grips tightly. Abe lets his mouth fall open, but makes no sound. It’s of a shock than a hurt, but it’s quite the shock at that. 

Robert’s focus sharpens to a point as he stares into his eyes. “Don’t ever betray me again.” 

Abe wants to nod, but he can’t, Robert holds him too tightly for that. His knees hurt already from the pressure on the wood, and his eyes are watering slightly. Still, he doesn’t look away. 

“I won’t.” 

Robert frowns. 

Abe exerts a little pressure, pulling forward slightly. “Do you want me to swear it?”

Robert huffs and loosens his hold slightly, taking the stinging edge off. “And add blasphemy to your list of sins? I think not.” 

Abe smiles, pressing his head back into Robert’s hand. “Concerned for me?”

Robert doesn't smile back. His gaze wanders slightly, breaking their immediate connection. He has a bruise on his collarbone that Abe must have given him. He let Abe do it, let him come into his house when he shouldn’t and take off his clothes. He’s in love with Abe. 

“Oh,” Abe breathes. The grip in his hair has no force to it anymore. He could pull away at any time, but he doesn’t. “Robert.” 

The man in question closes his eyes and starts to pull away, but Abe grabs his hand before he can, pulling it back for himself. Robert slits his eyes open again to glare, annoyance always being the one emotion Abe can accurately predict. He grins up at him, still naked and kneeling and getting cold. 

“Which are you favorite verses? Which set?” 

Robert blinks, visibly surprised. Perhaps he can’t predict Abe either. His free hand comes up to push Abe’s hair, which had long come undone, away from his face. 

“Psalms,” he says slowly. 

Abe nods, grateful for his memory. “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act,” he says, putting all the emphasis on the final word of God. 

Robert’s expression softens somewhat, though on him softness still has it’s own sharp edge. Abe wants him all the same, needs him by his side. Robert’s hand tightens around his to almost the point of pain, his nails digging into Abe’s palm. “Incorrigible.” 

Abe smiles at the warmth he sees creeping into Robert’s eyes, the one place he can’t hide, that chooses for him. “What’s your-”

“But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation,” Robert intones softly, almost at a whisper. He smiles back, just a little.

**Author's Note:**

> follow for more nonsense @ paradiamond.tumblr.com 
> 
> One of the best things to do before writing any fic is to go back a rewatch the Scenes to check my characterization. Bc jesus god I was writing this one and I was like am I making Rob TOO savage and TOO back and forth? And I watched their chess date again and I was like oh wow no he’s not savage enough holy god 
> 
> Very useful bible verse site, searchable by topic and I’m sure very much not intended for this use! https://www.openbible.info/topics/ 
> 
> Verses used:  
> Isaiah 57:21  
> Matthew 11:12  
> Romans 13:4  
> Psalm 37:5 (Abe)  
> Psalm 13:5 (Robert) 
> 
> I don’t know if you guys can tell but I apparently have a thing for Abe kneeling in front of Robert. Who knew.


End file.
